Monday, October 11, 2010

The only way is...

Hey Dolls,

Hope you are all keeping well..

Well, what was up with this weekends television programmes? Lets first of all start with The X Factor.. One of my favourite programmes. I become a religious watcher. I have to watch the beginning auditions, bootcamp and live shows, to be honest I am obsessed. On Saturday night I voted for Nicolo and Aiden, my two favourites. I was honestly gutted to see Nicolo go on Sunday. I do not think he deserved to go. He had so much more to give and even Simon Cowell said it.
If anything, Diva Fever should have gone. As much as I like them, they aren't going to win or get a recording contract, they are a bit of a joke. Talking of a joke, what is going on with Wagner aka Vugner aka Pirate of the carribean. He can't sing let alone speak in English. She bangs got turned into She BUNGS! I just do not understand how a talent like Nicolo goes when that stays. Who in their right mind voted for the pirate?

Can some one please tell me who the stylist is on X Factor? Who ever she is, she needs to go back to fashion school. I mean, really doll? Paige walked out looking like Jazzy Jeff with a mix of MC Hammer with those trousers and Diva Fever looked like me when I was 6 with my flourescent bike shorts. I have decided I have a lot of love for Aiden. His performance of mad world was incredible. The only other person I have heard perform that song brilliantly was Adam Lambert on American Idol. Aiden sang it great. My only thing about him though is watching him. He looks uncomfortable, like he is straining on the loo! I cannot wait for big band week where Paije will be given a big Frank song or Stevie Wonder. He needs to be doing these big Luther or Marvin Gaye songs to really show his potential.
How great did TreyC Cohen do!? I like her a lot. I just do not like her name. Was her mum on crack when she named her? What was wrong with Tracey love? No, let us be different and call her TreyC..
Ok, what was with Storms hair? To be honest, I look at him and feel creeped out and now that hair makes it worse. He is in his late 30's and is trying to get so much attention? I did like his eye make up Saturday night but it just is not him. Storm, you are not a boy George impersonator. Grow UP!
Is it wrong of me to fancy Louis and Harry from One Direction?! I mean, they are only 18! So cute though.
Does anyone else out their want to kick Cher Lloyd in the face? The main reason I cannot bare her?? Her facial expressions and twitching. It is so off putting to watch. Now I know a lot of people do not like Katie. I personally did not like her Lady Gaga tribute act look on Saturday night but her Save song on Sunday was great and she did herself justice.

Ok, so who watched "The only way is Essex" on Sunday night? All I can say is OH MY GOSH! Umm, seriously, was it real? I am a big fan of the Hills, but kids, you are from Essex. The acting was worse than in Hollyoaks. I was appauled. It started out with Mark "im Jack Tweeds best friend thats how everyone knows me" Wright and his friend Arg going to the gym. Nobody needs to see you two mongrels attempt to work out. You then see Lauren and her irrelevant friend go to a Beauty salon. Lauren was Mark's bitch for nine years. How did she prove her love for him? By having his name tattooed on her Vajayjay. How do we know? Because she whipped down her thong and showed her beauty therapist who was spray tanning her. If it looked good I wouldn't mind but the girl showed the whole world her stubbly, ingrown, rashy nuni. Only an Essex Bird hey! We saw another girl, Sam have her vajayjay VAJAZZLED! For those of you who do not know what that is, it is having little diamonte stickers stuck to the area above the vagina.
We then met Amy, a completely ORANGE girl with the worlds most annoying voice. We met Amy whilst she was doing a photo shoot for a wedding dress company. Did anyone else notice the weird looking creature that was with her? I thought I was having a nightmare. That should not be let on TV. We then saw this whole bunch of patheticness at a club for Laurens birthday where her man of 9 years made her feel like a prat. Well love, nothing new there.
Best bit of the programme? Seeing Mark's nan do his ironing, she was cute bless her!

One of them was quoted saying "People from London wish they were from Essex." Right, well I am from London, and the last thing I wish is to come from Essex. The best thing to come out of Essex was... ummm... Nothing? You see dear, in London we have the London Eye, River Thames, Houses of Parliment, Big Ben, Madame Tussads, Hyde Park, Oxford street shopping and much more. What do you have? Faces nightclub, girls who are orange with fake eyelashes and vagina tattoos, boys who slick their hair to the side and fake tan, oh and Gants Hill round about.
I am looking forward to seeing next weeks episode just for the pure laugh factor!

I would love to hear comments from you guys. You can leave comments on here, you can get me on twitter @IlanaVak or email me at

Hope you enjoyed reading.

Lotsa Love..

Little Miss V..xx