Thursday, June 2, 2011
Sex on Holiday.. The Do's and Don'ts!
I know a lot of you are going away on holiday over the next few months so thought I would give you some tips and advice that you can use whilst on your holiday.
* DO pack plenty of protection:
We all know that practicing safe sex is the right move, but when on holiday, after a few too many cocktails it can slip your mind. Always keep a condom in your handbag or pocket. Your partner may forget, but as long as you don't, you will be safe.. You don't want to come back home from holiday to find out your pregnant and you don't even remember the name of your one night holiday fling (or which one!)
* DO ask for ice lollies at the bar
You have had your eye on the barman all holiday and you want him. Take a minute out of sunbathing and go sit by the bar and ask him for an ice lolly. Unwrap it in front of him and seductively start sucking. Try and get a lot of it in your mouth and suck up the juice. He will be fixed on you and I am sure his trousersnake will give you a wave too. You will be his and your holiday dreams would have come true!
* DON'T forget to be safe during sex in the sea
If things turn from floaty to frisky in the water make sure you are not in the view of others. You may think if you have sex in the sea, the semen can not impregnate you. You are wrong, it can. Swim out to the rocks, put on a condom, and get your sailor on! Do remember though, the water can rub off the lubrication from certain condoms meaning the condom is less smooth and more likely to break. Just be a little more careful, but enjoy it, you will love it!
* DO learn the language
Now I am not telling you to learn the whole dictionary of the country you are going to, but learn a few naughty sayings. If your holiday fling is from the country you are visiting and you know it is just a one night stand, or fling, impress him with your knowledge of dirty vocabulary in his language, he will love it!
* DO exit appropriately
Nobody wants to be seen leaving their conquests room at 5am in their shirt because you can't find your top and your denim shorts! If you are on holiday with your parents, make sure you are not arriving back to the hotel at the same time your father is laying the towels out on the sun loungers. You do NOT want the look of shame!
* DO NOT give him your room key
You may think your Sexy Spaniard or Turkish Delight is the most incredible man ever created by the hands of god himself, but you never know who he really is and who he know's. Do not give him your room key, who knows what he can take, or do! While you are not giving things out, make sure you do not give him your heart either!
* DO enjoy the motion of the ocean
Who wants to be on dry land when you can get wet? Hire out a pedalo or boat and drift out into the ocean so you are far from being spotted. When far out, stop the boat and get down and dirty right there! The movement from the waves will help yours and your partners movement too.
* DO NOT ditch your friends!
If you are getting some holiday hanky panky, make sure your friends know who he is and where you are. Your friends are on holiday to have a good time too, the last thing they need is to be worrying about you! If there is just two of you, make sure she does not mind you going off and she is back at your hotel safe before you go off for your midnight feast! Don't forget you came with your friends and will be leaving with them too. Your holiday romance will most probably fade faster than your tan so don't have hopes of lasting love.
Well, those are the best tips I can give.. The main one I can say is.. HAVE FUN! Holidays are about getting away, enjoying things you wouldn't when your at home. Sit by the pool, drink cocktails, go quad biking, party hard, go sky sailing or jet skiing and just relax and have a good time!
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Little Miss V..xx
at 9:51 AM